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3 Tips For Improving Communication With Your Spouse

by Ricky Nguyen

Married life is busy and packed with commitments and responsibilities, which can cause you to spend less quality time with your spouse as you try and stay on top of other areas of your life. Good communication is a vital part of a healthy, strong marriage and will help you both get through the inevitable tough times. If you've put quality time with your spouse on the backburner and feel you're drifting apart, consider these three tips for improving your communication and drawing closer to each other:

Commit To A Regular Date Night

Having a regular date night is a good way to reconnect with your spouse without the distractions of daily life. Forget work, social media and your to-do list, turn your phone off and spend a few hours focussing on each other. Treat your date nights like you did when you first met and ask each other questions about your day, your current likes and dislikes and your dreams for the future.

If you haven't connected in this way for some time you may find you've both grown as individuals and you don't know as much about each other as you once did. Your first few date nights may feel a little awkward as you struggle to keep the conversation flowing, but stick with it and you may be reminded of just why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place.


In a healthy marriage you and your spouse will be taking on daily life as a team, but managing your household responsibilities can soon become monotonous. Working on a project that interests both of you gives you the opportunity to share a fun goal and experience a sense of achievement when you meet your goal together as a team.

No team project can be completed without communication, and the new ways of communicating that you develop while completing a project together should continue and become the new norm in your relationship. If you've stopped communicating with each other you may be worried that you'll just argue your way through whatever project you decide to work on. Initial arguments can bring longstanding issues into the open, which can be beneficial as long as these issues are then addressed. However, you should stop arguing from taking over by setting some project ground rules such as:

  • Listening to each other's point of view
  • Affording each other the respect you would give a co-worker
  • Feedback should always be constructive
  • Praise each other regularly

Invest In Marriage Counselling

Marriage counselling provides a safe, confidential space for you and your spouse to explore how and why your communication issues developed. Counselling is a useful way to explore conflict and work on improving key aspects of your marriage such as trust, which ultimately affects how you are able to communicate with each other.

A marriage counsellor can mediate as you work together to establish weak areas in your marriage that have led to this communication barrier. They will help you develop healthy ways of communicating and support you as you obtain the tools you need to ensure communication remains a priority in your relationship.

Marriage counselling sessions tend to be weekly at first and the frequency decreases as you and your spouse get your marriage back on track. Arranging that first counselling appointment can be a tough step for you both, but a willingness to get some professional support and improve your relationship is a positive step for your marriage.

Working on improving communication in your marriage can take you outside of your comfort zone, but when you and your spouse focus on reconnecting you may find your marriage is stronger than ever as a result of your commitment to each other.

For more information, check out clinics such as Helen N. Norman.